Thursday, December 15, 2005

Catch of the Day

December 15th, 2005

New York Housing Authority Supervisor Felix Vasquez wins my gold medal of the day. Outside of a building on fire, he was in the right place at the right time.

A panicked mother literally threw her infant out of a window right above him. Without time to think, he actually caught the baby, upside down, but it wasn't breathing. He gave it mouth to mouth resucitation, and then it started crying.

Quote of the day, "Vasquez is the catcher for the Housing Authority baseball team -- which has won its division three years in a row."

I'd give Vasquez a slap on the butt for this one.


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Bloody Santa Display: Season's Greetings

So a rich family in downtown NYC has put up a Christmas display. What's the issue?

1. The family is Jewish (non-practicing)
2. The Christmas display showcases a bloody santa, with dagger in hand, surrounded by decapitated Barbie heads hanging from the tree above.

This has caused an uproar. Many people are disgusted, they say its despicable, a total 'no no.' They don't want their kids to see it, and say it can ruin Christmas. "It's stupid" says one quote.

Where should I begin?

First of all, we live in America. This is obviously a use of their First Amendment. While it may be on the gross side of free speech, they are making a statement, and EVERYONE should stand by their right to say it. Otherwise, who'll protect YOUR right to free speech?

Second of all, thousands if not millions of people have Christmas and religious displays in front of their abodes for the Holidays. So, displays are ok so long as the conform to what other people have in terms of Santa, lights, Nativity scenes, and deer? I thought todays youth were AGAINST conformity as a whole. Maybe that movement has already ended.

Third of all, we live in a nation that is becoming MORE religious, not less. With abortion rights STILL up in the air, and the need for the separation of Church and State in actual debate in some places, I think its a good idea for people to put up messages of secularism. In other words, keep your laws off my (bloody Christmas Santa display)/body.

Fourthly, this display is protesting the commercialism of Christmas. Thats the main point. It shows the display owner's cynicism towards what this Holiday has become. So, if you're worried this will ruin your child's perception of Christmas, why not just buy them more gifts? That'll shut them up.

Fifth, I simply cannot believe that people are aghast at this display, when television has much much worse to offer. I recently watched an hour long special on torture on the History Channel. That show disturbed me. But did I ask them not to air it? The point is, there is more violence on TV that kids see every day then there is on that lawn display. In other words: Get over yourselves people.

Finally, I personally agree with that bloody Santa image. Maybe not for the same reasons that it was erected in the first place, a statement against commercialism, but rather because I get annoyed by all the Christmas 'cheer.' I don't celebrate Christmas, and when the hubub about the Holiday reaches a crescendo I often find myself having murderous thoughts. It makes me understand why people would rather live surrounded by others who share their beliefs, rather than those who feel the need to say Merry Christmas to you on the phone whether you celebrate it or not.

I will address the Devil's Advocate before I end this column. "What if someone put up a bloody Menorah?" Good question. However, I am certainly biased. When people trash Judaism, I think Anti-Semitism. However, that being said, I can perfectly understand where some people are coming from. People associate Santa with their childhood, the way I think of a Driedal or perhaps gelt (chocolate coins wrapped in gold.)

So, I won't say that people are dumb for being offended and hurt by this bloody display, because I would be if the table was turned.

But, when the Christmas carols come, and the radio spouts nothing but X-mas songs, all I have to do is remember the image of a bloody murderous Santa, and I can feel all right with the world, 'cause someone in the world is all right with me.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

omPropasal 1441: Erase Iran and Ukrainian MAUP

Iran has recently stepped up its ant-zionist propaganda, again asserting its denial of the Holocaust. Which simply makes me seethe. How dare you! HOW DARE YOU!

The Holocaust occurred during WWII. Did that ALSO not happen? Or am I completely erroneous when I note that some the leaders of some Arabic countries also sided with the Nazi's? Ahhh, yes, now it becomes clear. Some Arab countries were allies of the Nazi regime that perpetrated the Holocaust...and now some of them are denying that ever happened.

Surprise, surprise. This actually makes me feel better. Some of these people hate Jews, and love death, so much, that not only did they actively particpate in this horrible piece of history, but they want to denigrate the Jews and other victims further by denying their actual existence.

And what makes this worse is that its not the same people. The leader of Iran did not shake hands with Nazis. They did not condone the Holocaust, only to deny it later. These are the children of those evildoers. But they are taking up the mantle and carrying the baton further into Hell. So, rather than learn from their mistakes, they want to repeat them. So be it. One thing you should know: The Jews Learned. Israel is our defense against you. As long as it exists, so will we.

Moving right along, lets discuss MAUP, the part of the Ukranian University that wants the U.N. to literally 'close Israel.' They want the U.N. to remove Israel's Charter, saying that "Mankind lived without the State of Israel exactly 2,670 years, but after the second of its creation all the world feels a constant aggression of the old 'sons of the devil"

Well, well, well. I'd like to call this an imaginary worldview based on bias, or IWOBOB. Lets forget about the brutal dictatorships that rule over the Arabs of the middle east, lets forget the barbaric way women are treated in those societies, and most importantly, lets forget about the unending amount of bloodshed that has occurred between Arab counries not involvingIsrael. The Iran-Iraq War, for instance?

Anyway, all this is besides the point. The point is, people hate the Jews, and want to destroy them. Israel's existence is moot - so long as there are Jews, they will be hated. However, Israel is now the last bastion of Judaism, it's our Alamo. It will be what stands between us, and another Holocaust.

This brings me to my point (finally). I now officially deny the existence of either Iran's leadership or MAUP. To me, they have never existed. And this is a very good thing. While the people of Iran are just citizens of a brutal dictatorship, its leaders are trying to carry on the battle against Judaism. What exactly did the Jews, as a whole, ever do to you, President Ahmidenajad?

Well, since Iran doesn't exist, this never happened. So, by not existing, Iran is now a better country than it ever could have been. Whereas Israel has helped make the world a better place in more ways than I can count.

And MAUP simply disgusts me. How about you cease to exist too. I don't think anyone would shed any tears over that, you soulless pigs.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Palestinian Screws Himself By Forgetting To Speak Arabic

When Yasser Arafat was still alive, and there was a suicide bombing in Israel, he would condemn it - in English. Then he would turn around and, in Arabic, denounce Israel and proclaim the bomber was a martyr.

This double speak is common in the Middle East, as countries don't want to openly offend English speaking nations, while at the same time needing to reinforce their dislike of Israel to their constituencies.

However, this time an Arabic official - Jamal Zaqout, a senior PFA official from Gaza - forgot to speak Arabic.

"We are against the normalization of ties [with Israel] and therefore we oppose playing any game with any Israeli team until there will be peace," said Zaqout, who insisted he is a 'man of sports, not of politics.'

Apparently Zaqout didn't do too well in his logic classes. How can there be peace without some kind of normaliziation of ties? (What he really meant by peace is probably the end of Israel's existence.)

In addition, that statement is a POLITICAL one, and has NOTHING to do with sports, you fucking fanatical idiot.

By the way, the reason he said that is because Palestinians formed a "Peace Team" to play against Israeli's in Morocco or something. And he's against that kind of normal thing - even though the fucking name of the team was "Peace Team." Fucking idiot.